Losing it all

Some days,I wake up and I'm at the verge of losing it,
I see everything I worked for falling apart...
My mind constantly says, why me? why now?
I' m speechless...find no explanation...
I turn on the news...
and I see...
hunger in Africa...
I see people lost their loved ones because of a tsunami...
I see earthquakes, and homeless people...
I see people suffering for their basic needs...
I see people shouting loud for freedom...
I see pictures of a child checking the garbage for a piece of bread...
I see mothers' tears and sorrow for losing their young ones...
And, I feel ashamed, of being impatient for losing my dad...
I feel ashamed of being ungrateful for the fancy dinner I had...
I feel ashamed for sleeping tight in my bed last night...
I feel ashamed of shedding tears for Things I lost...
And I say forgive me God if I was greedy and didn't thank you enough for all the blesses I had.

An Ultra Vision

When I open my eyes every day to what is happening and what is going on around me, to the same daily slow passing routine of going nowhere, doing nothing important, and hearing the same recurring daily question of: what should we do to fix everything?...I feel helpless...I feel hopeless...my gaze at nowhere never ends...I have no answer to others' questions...the list of “if” sentences burden my shoulders so heavily that I feel, it can no longer hold my head on top... I lay my head back on the sofa...close my eyes...and wish that time stops there...at the same moment...ah..Dear God...I wish you hold me tight and tell me that it's alright...or tell me somehow that You will put an end to the sufferings...or you will finally take my soul and let it rest in heavens in peace... God I wish those days... that I would never open my eyes again…I wish I would never be forced to see again all that pain and bewilderment in everybody's' eyes...of the uncertain tomorrow...or see their hopes crashed to the ground more day after day........

Life Train

When we think that we are on the express train heading to the bright future; that is of the most times we have to be careful before we get lost at the end of the road or step down from the train in the land of nowhere. The beautiful sceneries of the road can only be seen when we slow down and pay attention to all the tiny details, when we appreciate the magic of every spot we pass by, when we memories the impression each person or part of the road left behind, when we take the time to leave all our gadgets behind and step down at each station for few moments to clear our mind, watch the pace of the moving trains, take a rest, have a cup of coffee and socialize, make friends and leave some friends behind, load or unload excess baggage needed to travel at ease to the intended destination…

Refuge

My soul is shattered,
By what it knows and cannot apply
My heart is broken,
By the ones so close that cannot defy
My head is spinning,
With what they thought and what’s on my mind

Gratefulness

The sun is down
My love is gone
My worries have ended
When you left the town
You were my sorrows
You were my hopes
You filled my world with untamed joys

Parting Road

He was on his way
I was on my way
There was no fellow to show us the way
He was alone
I was alone
Both were trying to get us home
We were at the midst, of nowhere
We were driven, out of despair

Shadow of my Dream

I saw the shadow of my dream
It was so far, it was a beam
It was a fancy house at the park
With large windows open to stars
All my neighbors were fairly polite
And other people were strongly bind

Reason Talks

It was reason me and my heart
All three talking trying to be smart
Reason told us over that night
When life is over, and there is no light
your choices there then become alive
The judgment starts for all your strive
Was it good, was it right
Was it to ease people’s plight
Was it to be always forthright?

What Women want

Having all roles a woman can have in her life, this single question kept barging in my mind:
Does a woman really like to have a career and be in the business world, or feminism did her a big harm getting her out of her house and putting a double burden on her shoulders, raising kids, and pursuing a career? Being a single mother and running a business is forcing me to seek the answer of my counterparts, would you as a woman like to have an outside work, or it's only the pressure of media that forces you to seek and prove your being by working in a full time job? Wouldn’t prefer to live in the old days when a man was the supporter of the family?

Heart Beat

It was dark, it was cold,
There was no one, but my hopes
Out on my windows sat a nice dew
And in my mind silence with a dim glow
What is beating?
Is it my heart?
Why it’s beating?
Is there a spark?

Age of Defeat

They say it’s the age of power
It’s the age of defeat
The age of spaceships, nano and microchips
I say it’s the age of hope
It’s the age of love
The age of soul, faith and belief
They say seize the day
And leave the soul, faith and love on its own
I say seize the warmth of an honest heartily soul
They say no wonder you stay always on your own
I say my loneliness is filled with all major hopes
What you have to seize other than empty cold feet
Running after power, dynasty and defeat
They say what you had of believe and leave
I say I have a world of knowledge
That keeps generations read
What we had in common
In ages of defeat

My Love Grace

When I think of you,
I feel the peace hushing me down
When I think of you,
I see my bare foot, touching wet meadows ground
When I think of you,

A Creature Called Mother

Mothers are the strangest creatures God created. They hold the fetus for nine months in their wombs, carrying him around all the time. They feel awful the first few months, yet they say nothing. They quit smoking, eating or drinking things they always loved. For nine months, they cannot have any rest or sleep; it starts with vomiting, and goes on with feeling ugly and heavy, having headaches, backaches, and pain in their tummies and legs most of the times. They turn big after being the cutie girl, their bodies’ shape starts changing, their tummies get big, their hands and feet starts swelling and they worry all the time whether that fresh looking body will be once again like it used to be. They worry every moment about the movement of the baby. They go through several laboratory tests to

Hope(3)

With every beat of my heart

With every drop of my blood

With every inhale of my breath

With all my soul

I guard you my hope

Cherish you, and hold you

Peace of Mind

When I see the sun defeating the night
When I see the sea defeating the land
When I see the wind force out the dust
When I see the rain wash out the dirt
When I see the fire devour all the filth
I say to myself,
Rise up summer sun and end up my nights,
Wave blue seas and land me I’m lost
Blow; blow winds, clear my dusted heart of all worries and pains
Fall spring rains and wash out my wounds
Burn my depressions you crawling burning fire
Put me at rest,
You sun, sea, wind, rain and fire,
Bring back my peace,
Before I’m lost in my being desert

Sweet Dreams

I feel different tonight,

Drunk with no wine in my veins,

Happy with no cash in my hands,

Crazy with no thoughts in my head,

I just feel free tonight,

Feel like a flying bird

Back home after the long cold winter nights...

Hope(2)

In the most darkest nights...when you never expect a glitter of hope..remembe, always, that the darkest moment of the night is exactly the moment before sunrise..then suddenly a call, an email, a letter,
a concidence, a newborn baby's cry, an idea........etc.

Silence

Some turnning points in life are so hard that drains all your energy out...you just want to hold your breath, , and close your eyes till the train of life passes fast through that scary tunnel at that turnning point...cause you're not a child anymore...Silence is what matures keep, not a loud cry.

Flash Back (1)

It was almost 9:30 pm; she put her kids to bed at 8 as usual. she had to talk to them like she did every night till they go to sleep, her kids were never like others, they did not like bedtime stories, they just wanted her to review with them what happened during the day, just like three grownups they discussed everything with her…asking questions, judging her decisions, gossiping, and offering solutions to their current problems. Her kids were so close in age that everyone would consider them as triples, and the older was no more than 7 years old.

ENDLESS QUEST.

The problem with us human beings is that we know everything but when it comes to applying the rules to our lives, it becomes so hard…

We know God is kind, God is merciful, God is forgiving...but it's so hard to wait....so hard to be patient……..

We wish for something, we pray to God to make it come true, and we try our best to do what we have to do, then we have to wait till the right moment to see that dream come true....that waiting…That being patient....is something which make us tired and hopeless...

Where is my soul?

Some days you wake up and it seems like you lost your soul in your dream, you walk around...you feel nothing...just like a dead body walking around...feel nothing...hear nothing...see nothing...care about nothing...

You wonder where did I lay my heart...what happened...you want nothing...you wish nothing.......

Who are you????????

If we consider the evolution theory of Darwin as true, (although I don’t); and if we believe that human beings are defined by the essence of their soul, then the boundaries that a human soul can reach are defined by two ends, one end meeting the animalistic essence and the other end meeting the celestial heavenly core. Accordingly we can characterize people according to the degree of their closeness to each of these boundaries.

Clumsy Conversation

They say: Be positive, don't be so negative....
I say: I’m ok, just a bit worried.
They say: Why worried, worried or not what should happen will happen.
I say: You know nothing; you don't have a clue of what I’m going through.
They say: Can you change it?
I say: No.
They say: then accept as it is, have patience and wait, you are at a turning point, hold on see where life is headed with you.

Fire of the burnning soul

When you review what you wrote, you discover that what was powerful and profound was written out of pain. Pains are gains in writing. It melts you heart, burns your soul, and puts all the wisdom of your mind in chaos. Then your hands run on the key board and you write and write and feel that someone else is dictating you what to say and how to say it, then when you read it back you feel you wrote something different something genuine that you never knew you had within you.

Soul

How diverse the human soul is, one minute we feel like flying in the skies, the other moment we feel so down that no one can pick up the shattered pieces of our broken heart. What is it with us human beings that one word can change our mode so fast, one small kind impression elevates our spirit so high in the skies that we feel we can fly around the world and see the roses in all the natural colors, yet one small indifference brings us so down that we feel we can see the hot core of the earth burning in our hearts...God.. oh..Dear God...what did you cultivate in our veins that runs sometimes so fast that it would pump our hearts out..And other times the same blood in the same vein walks like a turtle on a sandy desert land that shows no signs of life or hope...

Hope

We as Muslims....No, Pardon me it was a Wrong Start.. I think it's wrong to start a sentence like that, because Muslims, Jews, Christians, Buddhist, unbelievers or people from any tribe, sector or believe, are not good prototype or examples of what that religion, belief or ideology is trying to say. We can hardly find someone who completely abides by their ideology’s rules and instructions, most people are eclectic they choose what suits their life style and leave the other instructions aside.

Unfulfilled Wishes

Sometimes you wish for something so badly that you keep thinking about it all the time...yet no matter how hard you try and how close you go to getting it, it always slips your hand at the last moment, and your wish stays unfulfilled.
What is it that makes us wish for things we can never get, and while we know it’s out of our reach we keep thinking about it all the time...

I'm a Survivor

I was down today, turned on the TV carelessly, a comedy series just started, it was called Reba starring country music singer Reba McEntire . The song at the beginning of the series and the commercial breaks was like this...I'm a survivorrrr....I'm a survivorrrrrrrrr....

Surprisingly funny Reba was a newly damped and divorced lady with three kids, two girls and a boy. She is trying to get adapted to her new life in a funny way, and has to face lots of challenges, from supporting and handling three kids’ problems to dealing with the new life of a single mother.........
A I giggled and laughed the whole time, people's lives and problems are so much alike...we can easily turn our sorrows to a comedy scene and take it easy…cause this is life and…
 I'm a survivorrrr....I'm a survivorrrrrrrrr....

Life Quest

Did you ever think: what is it that we want, and if we get we will be completely satisfied, feel happy ever after, and
  stop wanting more...

Days of My Life

Did you ever ask yourself:
What if this was it?
What if it stayed the same?